How much they say now that if you want to achieve something, you need to stop going with the flow and, contrary to fate, do everything to get your material or non-material happiness ... Western psychologists and business coaches unanimously say that you simply must take in the hands of his life and to the last drop of mental health to fight with fate. But turning to Eastern philosophy, we see directly opposite statements. And here the question arises: “Who is right?”.
The truth is always there. Everyone should choose a method close to him. But before you make a choice, you need to carefully analyze this run from something or to a specific goal. And most importantly, to realize that “going with the flow” is not necessarily a generally accepted inert state without aspirations.
Ways to go with the flow or against:
1. In the generally accepted sense, go with the flow - lazy, inert, lack of initiative.
The “charm” of such a movement is obvious: a person is not to blame for anything - these are all “evil circumstances”. He not only does not go against fate, he generally ceases to go with the flow with time, although the illusion of activity remains. Not noticing the happy chances offered by fate, without taking any action, a person simply waits for the “promised” happiness to fall on him. Sooner or later, the river of life throws him out, at best, into a quiet backwater, where he flounders, and at worst, into a swamp, where he remains dissatisfied with himself, fate and everyone around him.
2. Too actively go with the flow of life, actively try different currents, look into all the backwaters and wallow without respite.
Like a blind kitten poke its nose in search of a good chance that leads to happiness. This often happens from excessive curiosity, fear of missing out on something "mega-important", the inability to hear yourself or the lack of intended goals. A rather energy-intensive way to go with the flow to the final goal, given that in this way only a few reach the desired and completely by accident.
3. The greatest efficiency will be with a conscious movement with the flow.
It is important to understand the main thing: in order to sail somewhere, you need to start moving somewhere, the same is true of achievements in life. First you need to decide on the desires and goals. Choose the riverbed to which the Soul draws, and not just fashionable. Set for yourself intermediate goals and a schedule for working with oars (your actions to achieve).
Going with the flow consciously is:
with wide eyes - watching and studying every turn, so as not to miss your own, exploring all the possibilities, but not rushing at each thoughtlessly
avoiding the whirlpools - letting go of emotions and not dwelling on annoying little things
participating in the movement - doing something all the time, improving, learning something useful to achieve
4. “Against fate” or “swim against the current” is the most difficult option for moving through life.
It doesn’t matter if this happens because of stubbornness, a conviction in the need to overcome obstacles, or a desire to cry later in someone’s vest on injustice - such a desire to move against fate without fail leads to depression and nervous exhaustion.
Does moving against the current lead to the goal?
It's hard to say for sure, but rather no than yes...
Going with the flow consciously is a movement in line with your destiny, which gives peace and a harmonious state. Something unnecessary or contraindicated, received in defiance of fate, will not fit into a happy future and will rather be a burden than give happiness later. Or at best, it will turn out to be time and nerves wasted for no good.
Usually, when they say “goes with the flow”, they mean that a person is inert, lacks initiative, is content with what life presents him, without trying to get more (or something else). But I see the flow of water in the river as a beautiful and rich in semantic delights metaphor for the flow of human life. Today I want to talk about such an approach to life as a meaningful movement with the flow, considering alternative, less adequate options.
You can't go against the current
Of course, you can try, and each of us has tried to overcome the power of a mighty current with the help of four limbs, but, having become convinced of the futility of such attempts, we, as a rule, grow up and begin to look for less labor-intensive and more effective ways to achieve what we want. Swimming against the current means in every situation choosing the most difficult path, the most dangerous course of action, the longest and most exhausting method of moving towards the goal, instead of solving the problem in an easy way, and spending the freed time on the joys of life and other goals.
According to my observations, several categories of people prefer to swim against the current: especially principled (and in this context, the line between integrity and donkey stubbornness is very thin), those who love difficulties and find the best motivation for themselves in them (as well as those who otherwise simply life is boring), and, finally, lovers of the role of a victim, a sufferer, for whom it is not so important to overcome difficulties, but to be able to feel sorry for themselves when they arise.
Minuses of this approach are obvious: a colossal disproportion in the ratio of the effort expended / result, the slowness of movement, the feeling that the whole world is against you. The only one plus what I see - motivation - for some people to overcome several challenges to their strengths and abilities before breakfast is a necessary component of existence and progress, but such people are few.
How can you get into the ocean if you swim against the current? Why break through the wall with your head if fifty centimeters to the left there is a window, a window or a door?
Inertia
The passive approach to moving along the course of your life was mentioned at the beginning of the article. As illustrations come to mind humility, submission to fate, preached by religious concessions; indifferent attitude to one's own life (that is, lack of motivation for any action); disappointment in life caused by a global discrepancy between the desired and the actual. Relying on fate that will carry you into the ocean, provided that you don’t lift a finger is a utopia, the universe has a great sense of humor, and your river can easily turn into a swamp, from where there are only two ways - either down, that is, to disappear, or get out with effort, and then jump to land or the next river over bumps (which is incomparably harder than just sailing, driving your boat).
Fate, destiny are realized under the condition of active activity on the part of the person himself. If he is firmly established in the bay of inactivity, and even worse, he simply spat and went ashore, lowered his hands (often when only a couple of miles remained before reaching the big, rich and happy waters) and, say, took a drink, or simply he gave up on his life, on any movement, a person turns sour like water in a swamp, drags on mud and generally forgets where and why he swam.
attractiveness inert movement is to relieve myself of responsibility for my own life - wherever I find myself, whether at the bottom or at the top, the hand of fate will take me there, but for now you can not move and wait for blessings from above. I have already described enough cons, I have no questions on this item.
Panic promiscuity (or geographic cretinism)
Another, already the third, extreme: indiscriminate grasping of everything that falls into the field of view of a person. An opportunity arises in front of him, and he immediately grabs it, not bothering to think whether he needs it at all, whether he will gain or lose there. In our metaphor, this means turning at every turn a person sees, trying to swim in all directions at the same time, swimming into every branch of the river.
Minuses: firstly, rash changes in the route can easily lead you into a puddle, where you may settle down, tempering your ardent enthusiasm. Secondly, turning off every time, and then returning back to the main channel (when you realize that you didn’t need to be here at all) is a waste of time and effort. Pros: you don’t need to decide anything, you can randomly poke at all the windows, knock on every door in the hope that something good will be behind it. Again, you can swim to the same place where everyone else is - perhaps your personal happiness and your unique ocean will be found there.
Reasons for choosing such a strategy: fear of missing out on something important, inability to hear yourself and make choices, make informed decisions.
active contemplation
Finally, we come to the fourth way of moving along the flow of life, which I like to call fluidity or active contemplation. What is it?
You calmly swim straight until the turn you want appears (and because you are in your own riverbed, you know that it will appear). You don't try to dig it yourself without having the tools to do it, you don't spend days and nights in disembodied fantasies about this wonderful chance, you live, do business, are in a state of readiness. Awareness. You don't just swim, zombified by the flow of a river or the circles in the water; your eyes, mind and heart are open - so you do not miss the turn in the direction you need. You are ready to act and, seeing your opportunity, use it - turn in the desired direction, make every effort for this. If you have completed all 3 points, but not When you reach the desired result, you don’t float the rest of your life in regret, but melt your shoulders and prepare for the next opportunity by continuing to move.
Actually, let's discuss. :-) Your opinions, comments, answers and advice are welcome.
- What do you think - "To live according to the will of God" and - "to go with the flow", is it the same thing, or is there a difference? - I was asked recently.
To be honest, I was even confused by such a formulation of the question. Although, its logic is generally clear: God brought me into this life, and, of course, has a plan for me. It would be strange to think that in His plans for me there was only one point - to give me being, well, then, man, come into the world and spin there as you know. No, of course, God's plan is about each of us. But there is also our freedom. If we fail to see the will of God in our lives, we will begin to live contrary to this good plan, with corresponding sad consequences. If we succeed, we will live with God, and this life will be meaningful and happy for us. It would seem that everything is simple.
But! Indeed, how will such a “hit” into the Divine plan differ from swimming with the flow? Everything about you has already been conceived and decided in advance, your business is just not to resist the Divine will. Float yourself through life like a log, sway on a slow wave, wait until it takes you into the blue sea of eternity.
It's kind of a sad picture. Not more similar to Christianity, but rather to the fatalism of the Stoics, who believed that fate leads the one who wants it, and drags the unwilling one.
But then I remembered the story of our famous traveler - Father Fyodor Konyukhov. In this race, the priest had a rival - a French athlete, a very strong young guy. It was not easy to compete with him. But Father Fyodor was much more experienced and knew something that the opponent did not know about.
The fact is that the ocean has currents similar to rivers. You can’t see them, in appearance there is the same ocean as around. But in reality, the water in this place is constantly moving in one direction at high speed. And all the currents on this route were known to Fedor Konyukhov. At the start, the Frenchman immediately rushed forward, and the priest slowly began to look for such an “underwater river”. And when he found it, she carried him forward. Father Fedor said: “Soon I caught up with my opponent. That young, strong one rows so that only the oars flicker. And I walk past and only rake a little so as not to lose the current. He must have been surprised: how does a Russian racer's boat float by itself? And the secret is simple: he went this route for the first time, and I have sailed here fifteen times before. So experience won strength.
This story prompted the answer to the question that initially puzzled me. Yes, one can say that living according to the will of God is the same as going with the flow. That's just the flow in this case should be considered not a river, but an ocean one. There, after all, it is not alone, as in a river. There are many in the ocean. And you can cross the ocean on a sailing or rowing vessel only if you understand them well. I found one that carries you in the right direction - consider half the job done, all that remains is to ensure that you do not “fall out” of it, so as not to fall into stagnant water, or into a stream that can take you in a completely different direction.
I think that the Lord has determined such a course for each of us in our lives. Well, the guiding markers that mark it among the endless waters of life are the commandments of the Gospel. The Monk Mark the Ascetic said: “The commandments do not eradicate sin: this is the work of the one Cross of the Lord. They only keep the limits of the freedom given to us. By living the commandments, we remain in the good flow of God's plan for us. But such a life requires certain efforts from a person. Therefore, to follow the will of God in Christianity does not mean any kind of passive stay. Our work is to choose this trend among many others, enter it, and carefully monitor so as not to be outside of it. The Lord will do the rest.
We all once started a new business, but then realized that it was not worth it. We understood that in fact they started it in vain, or even thought that this was an absurd idea. Sometimes we can start something so loose that we have no choice but to keep going to see where it takes us.
Believe it or not, these situations can be beneficial. We as human beings are able to be open to new experiences to learn from, and that's amazing. There we find happiness and balance. So the last time you went with the flow, did you do something that you would never have done before and just enjoy life? In today's article, we would like you to think about it.
That which begins spontaneously and senselessly
Take, for example, a relationship with someone who seems to be the exact opposite, who has the best preferences, an incredible personality that is not like ours, but who, like us, is full of emotionality and passion at the moment. Such situations are, of course, very intense and surprising. We can find happiness in very unexpected places, with the most unexpected people and under strange circumstances. Each person has a personal story in which you can find many such moments. However, there are various aspects that should be kept in mind, because, whether we believe it or not, there are many people who do not want to go with the flow and give themselves the opportunity to experience such moments that occur on rare occasions in life and require a number of abilities.
The importance of going with the flow
So far, we have talked a lot about this. To feel the moment, to perceive everything that is happening around, to go with the flow, without a doubt, this is the path to happiness. There are times when an unexpected opportunity appears, but we lose it because we do not act, because we are afraid that this is the wrong decision. However, we later realize that it was a good opportunity and as a result feel regret for all those lost opportunities. We are not suggesting that you act blindly or do something unworthy. We just want you to be open to new experiences. After all, some jumps in the dark are worth doing, but you always need to prepare for them.
Going with the flow is, above all, trusting ourselves and understanding that we need a little courage and spontaneity to find a happy place. We never know where certain paths may lead us. None of us knows which path to take, which people to avoid, and which opportunities are best for us. Given that nothing is certain and anything can happen in this world, why shouldn't we take some risk? In fact, our life path, identity and personal paths are intertwined with every decision and mistake we make.
Don't forget that the best routes are always outside of our comfort zone. Unfortunately, sometimes we can spend so much time inside our comfort zone, repeating the same steps and perpetuating our unhappiness. If you find that your surroundings don't make you happy, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You can control everything inside this area. What lies outside our comfort zone can frighten us, test us, and even seem absurd. However, sometimes all these new emotions are the best medicine for all our sorrows.
That which begins spontaneously and becomes our nature
Let's consider such an example. Someone suggests doing something. For example, it could be a dessert or even clothes. When you do this, everyone praises you. So you decide that it is worth devoting your life to this hobby or craft, and then it becomes a lifestyle, or in other words, your job. There are moments in life when accidents happen to you and you don't pay much attention to them initially. However, after a while, you realize that what happened to you is neither absurd nor funny. But you realize that this event or event is the best thing that you have experienced in your life.
In order for all this to happen, you need to be alert and trust your instincts. That's where we find our true value - in self-confidence. Never forget about it.
There is a force that can lead each of us to an unhappy life if we do not resist it in time. I call it "drift".
path of least resistance
Drift is the result of the decisions you make along the path of least resistance. Get married because everyone gets married, accept the first job offer you see instead of finding the one you really want, or do something to please your family. This is drift. And that scares me: not because it puts you in danger. But because without making a conscious choice (albeit often an erroneous one), it is impossible to come to a happy ending. As a result, your life does not reflect your values or aspirations. Once, in the course of my life, I was "nailed" to the Faculty of Law - not because I wanted to, but because I did not know what I would like to do. It seemed to me that I had every reason to believe that I was doing the right thing: the study of law was a very suitable occupation and application of my abilities, besides, there was room for maneuver. But I didn't really think about my choice. When I finally realized what was best for me, I began to write. I am much happier now than then...
How to understand what carries you with the flow?
Drifting may seem like laziness to some, but, by my definition, it’s not at all like that (I wasn’t lazy at all while studying law, on the contrary, I spent tremendous efforts!). Drift is when you are guided by someone else's opinion or someone else's expectations, rather than your own thoughts and desires. For example, you thought about your own business, but did not dare to open it because your husband said it was crazy. Or you would like to start an interest club, but your friends dissuaded you. Later, it may seem to you that you did the right thing (your own business is such a responsibility!), but every time you give up your values and interests, you accumulate sadness in yourself. Inner sadness leads to boredom and inability to make decisions.
Take the mini test 
Take the mini test
To understand if you are drifting, look at the statements below. If two or more of them seem true to you, it's time to take an honest look at your life and understand in what aspects of it you have surrendered to the flow.
- Sometimes I feel like I'm living someone else's life and waiting for mine to begin.
- I am busy with the same things as my surroundings. Or, when doing something, I often say to myself: “I can do it too!” or “Suddenly one day it will become interesting to me?”
- I fantasize that some natural disaster or outside intervention will change my situation, for example: due to a flood, the office will close or I will be transferred to another city.
- I spend a lot of time daydreaming about a completely different life, so I get distracted from my current job.
- Once I had a variety of hobbies and hobbies, but now I have abandoned everything and try not to think about them.
How to deal with drift?
Jealousy can serve as a spark. If you look at someone else's life with more than admiration - but with a feeling closer to the craving for the same thing - here is your key to action! Also take a look at your hobby. What do you like to do in your free time from work and domestic duties? So, when I was still studying law, I started working on my book on happiness. Did it on weekends. And once admitted that it was this hobby that attracted me the most. It was the draft of the book that gave me the strength to resist the current. Think about what you can understand about yourself if you take your hobbies more seriously?
Choose the right course
To blow the dust off your inner compass and find your true path, try repeating a motivational statement. One of my favorites: “You can choose a job, but not a vocation!” Doing something and loving doing something are not the same thing! Let me explain: you can be busy, for example, with office work, but you cannot force yourself to fall in love with this field of activity. It means you don't feel happy.
But it's not enough to understand what you don't want to do. We still have to figure out which direction to go next. This will take time. Use the flow while you meditate. Drift, but be sensitive to your desires and dreams. Ask yourself: “What do I want? What do I really want to do? What fascinates me? Focus not on what you "must" (although we understand that some "must" cannot be avoided), but choose from what inspires you the most.
Only in this way can you return to the right course. Being able to be yourself gives you a sense of freedom. You will understand when you stop drifting and start building a life based on your values and interests. And this, believe me, happiness!
